HEYA!!!

Excuse me, I must interrupt.

SuperCadence, Semetastic.. why do you divide people for males and females? God, it hurts so much. Cadence, you've said that the best is being yourself. I agree.

Look:

I love fighting, weapon is my passion, I adore agressive music (metal, hell yeah), I love to do hard things, to sculpture my body and make it strong, I play bloody games (PC, X360). Soon, I'm planning to join my friend's knighthood (being a knight was my dream since I was a child). I like to put make-up sometimes. I like putting on some girlish clothes (but my stale always balance between). I like jewelery, but every necklace I chose is being described as 'for men' (for example the one shaped as little sword with skull).

I'm sure that you assigned these things below to two grups: f and m.

I feel nothing but pure rage, when someone's say that I act like a man or a woman. Why they want to see our world only in two aspects? I CAN'T feel ok with myself because everyone divides me. I can't achieve peace.

Who am I then? Instead of being myself, I'm two different people now.

Sorry for interruption.

_________________
Praise to my father
blessed by the water
black night dark sky
the Devil's cry

In some SE Asian countries the third sex is widely accepted, legally in some, and it's a shame that western countries haven't caught up with this yet.

Why fight being who you are, why not live the life that best suits you, why the need to conform to a stereotypical gender type. Girls don't all have to like frilly clothes and cooking, also boys don't all have to like sport and beer.

I like to be different, whilst I have no gender issues like most here, I don't conform to stereotypical gender patterns, you should see me now in my brightly coloured shirt and shorts, and I don't give a stuff about what people think. I wear a sarong (Very unusual here in the UK.), or nothing when I get the chance.

I spent the first 25 years of my life trying to conform, to be someone that others expected me to be, now I'm being me, the person I feel at home with.

Pete

Pete, I agree with you in 100%. But look how society acts when you're trying to be nothing but yourself. It's doctors and 'specialists' will try to cure you, people will laugh. Everyone's fighting with stereotypes but no one's getting this serious. These things can break you.

_________________
Praise to my father
blessed by the water
black night dark sky
the Devil's cry

The only reason so much of us use terms such as male and female is because they are the best labels to refer to the most widely accepted classifications. It shouldn't hurt to hear the terms Male and Female.

Personally, I LIKE being referred to as Female. I LIKE not being a man. I don't want to be in the middle, and society has nothing to do with it. I've moved on past the stares and the giggles. I've moved past people following me and some even trying to start trouble. Sure, itd be nice if they didn't. But I'm stronger than that. It never broke me. I'm being who I am, naturally.

And when I refer to my androgynous friends as female, I state it merely as a starting point. They started out female, before personality or anything took over. They had a vagina, they had a uterus, they had ovaries, they have estrogen. Then look at them now and the hurdles they've overcome. Legally (in US) they are female because of their body parts and the estrogen, but really..who knows with some of them if you try to classify them by personality, how they look, and how they act.

There is a third gender out there. But me, personally, I don't want to be a third gender. I want to be a female I wanted to be a female long before I saw a psychotherapist. I wanted to be a female long before I even knew it was possible. I wanted to be a female before I even truly knew the difference.

Please don't be offended when I say act like a man or act like a female, it's only to separate the two for discussion with people who are just trying to figure themselves out. Saying 'acting like a male' is a lot easier than saying, 'on the days you feel like wrapping up your boobs, putting on a dirty t-shirt and jeans, cropping your hair in a chili-bowl cut, talking in a deep voice, and walking with your legs spread apart' (and even then i could be describing female characteristics or male characteristics..or third gender characteristics)

And out of three psychotherapists I've been too, not one has told me that I need to decide. When I 'walked the path' with the one, not once did the words 'female' or 'male' leave his mouth when talking about me. I figured it out all by myself. Some third gender could have been at the end, but Female was there..loud and clear.

I'm sorry. Sometimes I'm too egoistic. Plus, in my country there's no understanding for kind of people I meet here. Moreover, I started archeology studies this year. I thought that there's no difference if you're male or female in that case. I was wrong. Everybody tells me how comfortable my situation will be during the excavations because of my gender 'The chief won't let you dig. Guys will take care of it. It's a hard work.'. And they don't even know why I'm getting angry about it. I want to dig, I love to sweat, just to feel that I'm alive and to be conscious that it is me who explored this monument which lies under meters of ground.
I don't know what will happen this holidays. I'm afraid so much that they will sent me back because of my anger. I'm afraid that I will say something wrong when someone will call me a girl... I'm not the one...

Again, I'm realy sorry for interruption.

_________________
Praise to my father
blessed by the water
black night dark sky
the Devil's cry

You're not interrupting at all. This isn't a closed discussion.

And it's just, personally for me, I feel some need to classify myself... I'm not as a strong of a person as you seem to be. Gosh, the fact that you feel so passionately about this just shows how strong you are... Because I personally don't like being called cute, or girly.. but I just take it because I'm not brave enough to say I hate it. Or on other days when I don't want to be called manly.. and i hear it, i say nothing. It's because I was raised by my mother to want to wear dresses and present yourself, and make yourself outgoing and like-able, so I can get a boyfriend. So for 14 years I acted like that.. but the past year it just bothered me so much, I had always loved acting like a guy, dressing as one for jokes... then for cosplaying ( uhh... goggle that if you dont know what that means XD) then... because it felt comfortable.. and now... Because I feel better in the mornings I can dress like a guy.

But my mom's attitude still makes me act girly... Its intimidating to even tell her I seriously want guys board shorts because when i mentioned it to her she looked at me and was like T__T 'JESSICA, you are NOT a boy... let's go and get you a bikini.'

You are strong to be able to break the moulds between boy and girl, to keep yourself in a third gender. And all the power to you..

As for your dig.... I don't know about where you come from... but I bet if you tell your supervisors or whatever, you would LIKE to dig.. they could probably let you, if you work hard. It may be annoying that they assume girls don't want to work.. but the best thing to do, is too prove them wrong and work EVEN HARDER than the boys... It shows them you aren't some weak 'female'... but neither are you a guy. you are just a hard worker who is there for the studies and experience

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The thing is, people aren't necessarily taught how to handle the situation when you run into someone you don't know how to identify. I was raised to be a gentleman to girls. My whole life I've held doors, I've stood when a lady enters the room, I put myself second and well, the list goes on. Some girls are raised to treat boys certain ways and girls certain ways and so on and so fourth.

And lets be fair, we're a minority. People don't walk down the street and see Men, Women, Trannies, and Third Gender every day. They typically see Men and Women. So it's strange to them to suddenly see someone who was born into man's body, struggling with all their might to be perceived as a woman. Suddenly their programming has no answer.

I'm sure most of the men on your dig, Ulfar, when they try to do all the digging for you, are just trying to chivalrous. Have you told them that you don't want to be treated like a girl? If you haven't then how are they supposed to know? We take guesses every day when interacting with people on how we should treat them. Since so many people are different, and like different behavior, it's anyone's guess. I don't know if, when I speak to someone Ive just met for the first time, how I should treat them..maybe they secretly want to be a woman maybe they want to be a man or a drag queen, or something else. Unless they tell me outright, I can't know for sure. The same goes for everyone. Granted, there are lots of mean and cruel people out there who want to do harm to people unlike them, but that's the case for no matter what you are. So try not to hate people because they treat you like a girl.

Semetastic, I feel for you hun, my biological father is a Colonel in the Army and he's only recently come to accept what I am. And he's having to go to counseling about it. And it's been almost 20 years since I came out about having a 'problem'! Some people just don't understand because their worlds have been so small their whole lives. But my real mother has been nothing but supportive. It's hard to tell. Just wait till you can buy your own dammed shorts and then go get em. Sometimes its the only way.

Semetastic, I don't feel I'm strong. I'm surprised that I haven't broke yet. The funny thing is that my dream of being a knight and my dear bf make my life worth living.

And yes, I know what cosplay is . Can you tell more about your costumes? ^_^

Cadence, I tell people how I feel about their words but they usualy don't understand and pretend my words as a joke. That's not very nice. Unfortunately, my parents do the same. 'It will pass' , 'You'll grow up' I hear.

My mom hurt my feelings when she said that my bf's life must be very hard because of me and my strange behaviour 'He loves you much if he can handle this. Poor boy.'.

_________________
Praise to my father
blessed by the water
black night dark sky
the Devil's cry

Wow, Colonel in the army... And I thought I had it bad, though I don't know about your bio father, but army people seem to be.... more what's the word? Hardcore? Close-minded? I don't know.... But the whole 'don't ask, don't tell policy' just gives me that homophobe vibe from the army as a whole. So I could only imagine.

And man, Cadence it must be amazing to have support like that. I have a friend ( who's kind of my girlfriend? ) that is my support.. But obviously she can't sign legal papers or help me get prescriptions and such, and I don't live with her...

I'm thinking of beginning a transition this summer into guys clothes, and becoming more of a guy...

Did you transition? And where do you even start? And how did people react? o_o

And Ulfar, a knight? That's actually seriously awesome!! XD Dude, that would be amazing!! How exact do you BECOME a knight though? o_O

And yea... I recently started cosplaying... So far just with anime, and I've cosplayed as Riku from Kingdom Hearts, and I'm working on Soubi from Loveless.. and REALLY want to do Yoite from Nabari No Ou I'm an anime (and Yaoi) addict XD I love it! It makes my life sooo much better cause I get to have an outlet I love drawing, dressing as and writing about, but my mom doesn't approve or really get why i like it... ( Especially of the pics of two anime guys hugging on my walls.. but I just tell her ones a girl >_< )

And being strong and feeling strong may not always be the same thing... I mean, just the fact that you have courage to say how you feel is strength, wither you feel it or not.. You are strong, you may just not realize your own strength. I mean, I guess if things like the separation of girl and boy get you down a lot, it may be hard to FEEL strong when things like that get you down... But It doesn't mean your not.

And ouch.... the "it will pass" card?... Gosh don't you just LOVE that one? T__T

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You're a yaoi fan too? ^^ That's great! XD. My problem is that don't know many yaoi or yuri mangas but I love the pics :3. Tell me what the best titles are and I'll find them >.<.

If you draw, please, send me some of your works ^^. you can find mine here -> http://www.jasnacholera.deviantart.com/gallery

Being a knight isn't a hard thing. There are many knighthoods, many groups of people who reconstruct the medieval history. Unfortunately, I heard many times that I can't become one because of my gender. I told them that I can handle anything, that they can treat me like a guy, but they refused. One time, I found a person who was different. Now he's my best friend and he wants me to join his knighthood. Plus, I was training sword fighting in ARMA (european renaissance martial arts), but people there treat me like a girl and I stopped for a while. I'm planning to continue learning how to fight with a few people I met this year studying archeology. God, I love fighting so much!

_________________
Praise to my father
blessed by the water
black night dark sky
the Devil's cry