HEYA!!!

Well.... read my signature I guess...

I'm 15, bi-sexual and bi-gender....

I lean more towards a boy internally, but a girl on the outside. I have not come out to anyone other than my best friend and go-to person.

I don't really know what I will do... But I am feeling like I may go on hormones.

It's not that I hate being a girl, I would just prefer being a boy.

I'd love to make friends, share experiences, and get support.

Jess/Jack

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Welcome :3

You're not alone. I'm bi-gender too. But don't know what to do with that fact.

I'll support if you need it. I'm looking for friends here.


Ulfar

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Praise to my father
blessed by the water
black night dark sky
the Devil's cry

It is hard to know what to do.. Because almost everyday it changes :S

Personally I wake up, and can grab one of my guys polos, put on a thick chain necklace, almost make-up and look at myself and think " god... i hate these stupid things on my chest!" and I grab my binder and other days its like " ohhh.... I look pretty nice with make-up and pretty clothes.. its fun!" and i grab my push-up bra.

*sigh*

to some degree, being bi-gender sucks because there's no definite gender you are or want to be :S

what about you?

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Gosh.. I feel same. I didn't know that there are more ppl like me. I have a boyfriend who seems understand this. He knows that my gender is unspecified and that it's very difficult for me. True speaking, what is the meaning of gender? Sexuality? For me it means nothing. I mean, I feel it, but I don't need it. Not that much. I'm convinced that specyfying my gender would ruin my mind, my sanity. I thought that it will disappear, but the time's passing and it's getting stronger instead. I don't know what to do. As I've said, it's very diffuclt for me. I wonder if it is not society's fault. It don't understand the meaning of 'third gender', they treat it like a disease.

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Praise to my father
blessed by the water
black night dark sky
the Devil's cry

Third gender huh.... I haven't personally heard a lot about that. But yea, as they say... Sexuality is between the legs, and gender is between the ears.... Sexuality doesn't really have to do with gender... I mean personally, if I go through with hormones, I am a bi-sexual but I gravitate more to men... That means, to a degree I'll be a gay man... Just because I become a guy, doesn't mean I'll like women anymore or less.

And don't worry... the whole specifying gender... it's a pain in the arse.... Though I can imagine that being third gender is even harder. I mean, once my therapist placed the idea of actually going through with becoming a man... it was like he planted a seed in my head and the idea grew.... ANd suddenly I felt like I was being forced to choose which gender I wanted to be..

I felt like I was being pressured, with not him, but myself forcing myself to choose. And it is so difficult to know which makes you happy.. I wish I could be satisfied with being third gender, but I feel I gotta be one or the other.

You are very lucky to have a boyfriend that understands

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I would say that if you fluctuate so much between genders, I'd stay that way. It's all about being who you are. Personally, I've never been satisfied when seeing a boy in the mirror. I just settled when I was a kid/teen. I never wanted to be a boy. Shoot, on the days where I don't feel well enough to shave my face and cover up the shadow, I just don't go out and I avoid mirrors. If I could just say, "Hey, I wanna be a boy today" and then not worry about my face, that would be awesome.

Y'know, where I live, the most popular girl in the town (amongst my generation) is my adopted (I was the adopted one) sister. She's a lesbian, but she's more often perceived as a boy. Straight girls don't even seem to care that she has a vagina and tits and a lot of guys don't care that she looks like a dude, they still go crazy for her. She's the most unreliable and rude person on the planet, but she changes every day. So I know for a fact that there are a LOT of people out there who like that sort of thing. And hell, if you actually have a nice personality that's even better. (btw she doesn't take hormones)

Only choose a gender if you know for a fact that you aren't the other one. Otherwise, be happy you have the freedom to choose every morning.

Though yes, it has many upsides...

It is also difficult, because its not satisfying to be in limbo, and not truly knowing your gender... If you are trans you know that you are meant to be the other gender, and if you love your biological gender, thats even better.

It's not really a great way to live.. because regardless if you stay the same gender or change your gender... you won't be fully satisfied either way.... >_<

But yea... sometimes it is nice to know I can just fluctuate without any problems... (yet).

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Do you feel the need to be one?
My deciding factor was finally when my therapist had me try to imagine my future.
Picturing my future as a man was impossible. I couldn't see it. No matter what job, no matter where I lived, I just couldn't see it. But I could imagining it as a female. I could see myself doing the things I wanted to do.
Have you tried that? Maybe it'll help...maybe not.

That's actually a really good idea... My therapist and I have been concentrating a lot on other problems in my life recently, so I think I should bring up this topic once again.

I guess my life as a woman seems..... pretty damn boring. I hate the idea of becoming some fat housewife and having saggy boobs and being the bottom of every relationship i'm in (no offence, if you take any from that), personally, and my life as a man I can see being difficult but much more enjoyable because I can be sexually, emotionally and physically how I want to be....

But many things of being a woman are still appealing none the less XD

But a very good idea.. :3

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There will be many things of each gender that are appealing.

Like, I was watching X-Men the other night with my son. I saw Hugh Jackman going through his thing as Wolverine and at first, I thought, damn it'd be awesome to be him. Be buff, be like 'the man' with the bad boy attitude and whatnot. But then I thought..'or maybe that's just the aspect of masculinity that I'm attracted to.' and it made a little more sense.

I've always rushed into relationships and couldn't figure out why. I would seriously dive head first into them and become this creepy obsessed person. But as a girl, I don't do that. I figured out the reason i became so obsessed with being around these girls every second of the day was because I needed that female aspect in my life because there was that void. Its just that what those girls were providing wasn't enough. when I came out and was able to incorporate my true being into my life, those desires went away. And those things that I wanted to do as a guy, but they never truly made me happy, well those things became what I love about men in general- what I look for in a partner.

The thought of being with Mr. Bad Boy Wolverine sure outweighs the thought of being him.

Besides, almost every girl I know has always wanted to be a guy on occasion, just to experience it and do the things they normally can't do as a girl. Course that may just be curiosity.

And don't worry, you didn't offend me. For one, I doubt my boobs will ever reach saggy state. I doubt they'll grow past a large A. B, I would LOVE to be a housewife..if I could get away with just cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and running errands as a career, then hell yeah. It's not that I don't like to work, but I love making people's lives better. And so long as I actually find a husband that actually appreciates it and brings home real money after a hard days worth of work, I feel it's an even balance.

I think you're gonna be fine here. Aand if no one else here with experiences closer to yours doesn't help you out, I'll see if one of my friends can help you out if you want it Good luck hun, PM me any time.