I'm confused.

Hallo there,


I'm new at this forum, and i directly want to ask you if you can help me, cause i'm really confused about myself being attracted to TGirls (if this is the right term) recently and don't know how to handle it. And it really bothers me. Please excuse all the mistakes I make with the english language.

I'm a 30 year -old straight male from Germany. I have always been attracted to asian girls, I just like the way they look - the black sparkling eyes, the shiny hair...theres also a certain admiration for the way of life in (South-Eastern) Asia, so I was always also fascinated by their lifestyle. Well i think all that is what those of you with asian partners may fully understand.

Lately, I became curious about the katoey in thailand when I heard about former muay thai champion Nong Thoom (the "beautyful boxer"), and I decided to spend more time on the topic, and i have been reading articles and watching tv documentations since then (just for the record, i'm fascinated by asian countries, but never been to one). I listened to how katoeys view themselves, about their opinion of relationships, men, and all thier problems of being accepted for what they are.

Unexpectedly, I had to find out that the katoey are not some hairy, muscular laughing show - guys with anchors tattooed on their biceps and five o' clock shadows, dressed like girls and with obvisouly fake long-hair-wigs ...some of the katoey are so stunning pretty and looked so feminine that i first thought it was fake - that there was a young "real" girl (what is the politically correct term ?) pretending for the camera.

And today, finally, i find myself often having romantic fantasies about asian tgirls, even though i dont know even one of them. There is the point: i believe that i see something in them which totally comes out only of my fantasy. I think i am looking for something i could not find all my life. And i want to tell you why.

I hate to talk about that, but to get you the right picture of myself, i better tell you that i'm not quite successful with girls. I'm a strange guy, everbody will tell you. A friend of mine once said, "you are only controlled by your mind. When you say something, you always lay down a rational, logically founded point of view. But theres no passion". A girl told me the way i treat women "makes you look like youre not interested in them anyway." And a girl (asian, of course ) i once dated maybe said it best.

Her: "I feel you are not interested in me as a girl."
Me: "how come?! I've been asking you so many questions about you, your origins, your life"
Her: "Is true! But you ask like a scientist!!"

They say women are from planet venus and men from planet mars. Wrong. Seems i am from planet vulcan.

Thats only one aspect, but I dont want to bore you all with more and more aspects of the whole "the girls and me"-thing, so in a nutshell: it is an ambigous thing. I dont understand women, and IF i understand something, it often makes me frown. I have strong belief in my own moral, and dont want to play the game of pretending, bragging, lying, being just not myself to impress women. And if i dont want to, i dont do it, with all the consequences. i always want all or nothing - means right now: nothing.

So why the heck am I telling you all this stuff, complaining about beeing having problems when it comes to women? Because this also explains my interest in tgirls.

First, the simple part: I find Tgirls to be mysterious, something i am curious about. Thats what many men feel like. I want to find out how it is like, to be with them. Quite simple.

But second, I assume that Tgirls are different in the way they/you look at men, or what they expect from them. I dont mean they/you have lower expectations and are content with less, i mean maybe they/you really look for something many girls dont, or consider to be secondary. Or maybe be more tolerant. Or, maybe though some claim they had a female mind all their life, we would both better understand each other. And also, i know thats egoistic, but since tgirls may have more problems in finding a real long-term relationship with a decent guy, compared to "real" girls, maybe they would give you a fairer chance, more time to show who you are instead of immediately dropping you out.

Thats just what i assmue, maybe prejudiced, and maybe completely idiotic, and maybe even some of you even feels offended by this. If so, sorry for that. Im just brutally honest (we germans are world-famous for that) of what is going through my mind.

Now. In my relationships, i always felt under pressure. I always felt like everyday i had to compete with all the other guys out there. This ended always in a mess, leaving the girl before she left me. And when you see some of your buddies being kicked out of many-years-relationships just because their girlfriend got accquainted with a more successful guy, things get worse.

But my (silly?) fantasy about a tgirl is a cute girl laying sleeping in my arms, and i look at her and realize that as long as i treat her right, protect her, love her, she will never leave me. i can not feel for "real" girls the same way anymore. I cant help it. And this makes me feel uncomfortable, cause i am afraid of becoming "unnormal".


So What do you think?
Do you believe I have false expectations or motives?
Do you believe I am just a guy with low self esteem and should better work on that?
Do you believe I am just full of prejudices on tgirls, making a difference between them and "real" girls?

And finally: do you think i should try? That the hard one, because to be honest I dont like the thought of beeing the oddball, the strange guy, the fag with his fag friend - u know?


Sorry for the long posting and thank you for reading this. I just had to write this. I can not talk with my buddies about all that. No way.

Greetings,

Evergreen.

How shit, Heinrich! That's some confusion you have there!

Look, just buy a ticket to Thailand and experience The Land of Smiles for yourself; you'll find the place very welcoming and the transsexuals even more so!

I guarantee once you meet some T-girls you will see [biological] females in a whole new light and will have a clearer image of which gender is better for you.

Also, all the "straight" and "unnormal" talk presents you in a somewhat 'stupid' light, I'm afraid. Transsexuals are females in heart and mind; they're not gay (otherewise they're merely cross-dressers). So attraction to a transsexual person is patently not homosexual beyond the strict definition of the word. Unless you're attracted to the male form and male disposition, you're not gay. Relax! (...not that there's anything wrong with that! )

I know
First, thank you for reading the stuff. When I read over my posting again today, the whole text looked a bit ...weird. there you can what sexual confusion can do to you



Well, i can see what you mean, but I think I better explain this a bit further: I am not "afraid" to be gay ( why would I), rather I know I am not. I rather have the feeling that I developed a sexual preference that 99% of the people around me would never do. So, if you feel something almost no one else does, OF COURSE you ask yourself why that may be so, and whether you are different or rather have a malfunction. Today, i just feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. I dont know whether I just want to "try".

How about you, do you have a transsexual girlfriend? If so...how come, and how did you...manage the whole thing? Bro, it really bothers me alot, I just cant say "I am what I am" and that stuff.

This is an attitute indicative of an upbringing in a close-minded society.

But you're right; the vast majority of the planet's population is comprised of 'followers' not 'leaders'. So if one's path takes one a different route to Joe Hoi Polloi, then naturally they'll doubt themselves and question the 'normalcy' of what they're doing.

It takes testicular fortitude to live one's life the way one deems fit. Hence why we celebrate the few true 'leaders' our history has thrown up and largely ignore the 'also-rans'. It's why I admire T-girls in fact -- they're who they feel they are not what others tell them to be.

So the question is not whether what you're feeling is "normal", but whether you have the cajones to follow through with your convictions and live your life in a way that makes you happy; not spend it wondering if your choices will satisfy others' oftentimes insular opionion of way things 'should' be.


*I have had T-girl GFs -- yes. The experiences have only further solidified my resovle to find a life partner of this gender.

I dont really agree with that "leaders-and-followers"-view of society, but anyway, you are absolutly right saying that if you are convinced of doing the right thing, you shouldnt let this depend on anything else, like how many people blame you for this. But doing the right thing and doing just what you feel like at the moment is a difference, in my opinion.

Well anyway, I just have to spend more time thinking all this over. Thank you for your answers.