Let's find out about our sexual preferences

I was reading another transgender board and found that they got an interesting poll

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Ciao ciao,
Monica

Even before I went on hormones I could never penetrate. I hated it, never had the urge and found it a HUGE turn off. I still feel uncomfortable if I see a TS in a porno doing it. I feel bad sometime because many men expect it but I can't and don't like it so I feel like I am abnormal.

i can totally agree with oztgirl. have same feellings.

Hi...I can understand how you don't want to penetrate a man. I'm sure there are some guys out there who fixate on it, but there are so many things on the palette of sexual experiences that there's always something to try.

On a similar theme... we've assumed anal penetration here...how do people feel about oral?

cheers,
Tony

I'm happy to cope with any limits a partner needs to be comfortable.

Hi Tony,

Yes, some men definitely fixate. I find men who aren't experienced with TS are the worst. I actually had to explain to a man once that many TS can't get hard enough to penetrate and why. He was shocked and seemed to loose interest. It seems he has only ever watched ts porn.

I have no problems with porn but I think it really does distort peoples ideas about sex, especially young men who only 'learned' to have sex through porn.

I would also like to point out that I have no problem whatsoever about TS penetrating. It is personal preference and nobody's business but the people involved.

Regarding oral sex, I have also always hated that too. However, the man I met in Greece last year (and whom I am for all intents and purposes madly in love with) tried to go down on me. It was the first night I was with him and I felt overwhelmed by it and I asked him to stop. Having gotten to know him and feeling a lot more comfortable about my body, if he ever tried it again I may be a little more forthcoming. He made me feel so comfortable about my body.

Speaking of him, he gave me a wonderful birthday present this morning. I was texting him as usual at the crack of dawn and he wished me happy birthday. We got talking about things we wanted to do in life. When I asked him what he wanted to do in his life, I got a response that took my breath away - he said he wanted him and I to be together. I laid in bed for 3 hours with a stupid grin on my face and another 3 hours on the lounge wrapped up in my doona with the same stupid grin on my face. It scares me how stongly I feel about him.

Good birthday on all accounts!

Happy Birthday to you and I hope your present becomes a reality.

As to the penetrate or not part of this discussion - if a guy wants to be penetrated by a TS, he should go see a "professional lady". Me, I like my girl to be the female of the relationship, so the only penetrating will be performed by me. But I am also much like your Greek friend, in that I don't object and sometimes enjoying giving oral to my lady, but see it only as foreplay.

P

Thank you both for the birthday wishes.

oz3male, I think that if a TS penetrates (or not) isn't related to gender roles but just an expression of sexuality. Just because a TS penetrates doesn't make her less of a lady, just the same that a man going down on a TS doesn't make him Gay.

I am not sure if my friend in Greece (he's not Greek btw) was just being a gentleman or if it is something he normally would do. I haven't discussed it with him since. I love him for bothering in the first place though. I am quite shy and was a little overwhelmed as I had only just met him. I am sure if I asked him to do it again he would.

M.

I have voted for 'penetrate'. I've never tried anal sex. Probably I can get an interesting experience trying it but after that I will consider myself gay...

Hi M,

funny that's just the point I was going to make...my first thought was that he wanted to make the whole experience pleasurable for you, so he was willing to to go down on you.

and yes, you're right...there are two different issues here. Gender identity and sexual preference. They aren't necessarily linked. I would even think if a man was penetrated that he'd become "gay". Depends on who's penetrating There's also a grop of men who will have sex with men, but only if they cannot get a female partner. They make up a sizeable proportion of the men looking for sex at "beats".

Tony

Hi Tony, yes, I totally agree that many men at beats aren't gay and are just looking for sex. The male sex drive can be incredibly strong. I remember what it was like for me as a teenager. I absolutely HATED it. I used to get so upset that this thing between my legs just wouldn't leave alone. It sounds kind of funny but it wasn't at the time. That was one of the greatest relief's when I went on hormones - I got that monkey off my back (I guess you could say that I spanked that monkey good and hard) .

I personally think that it is perfectly normal for men to engage in sex with each other even if they are straight. I have a theory that all humans are naturally bisexual but have a preference for one gender. That lends itself to the concept that sexuality is expressed on a scale and is not black & white. It is social morality that makes it right or wrong and therefore black & white. To me it is personal and people should mind their own damn business.

Interestingly, I find that gay and ts can be just as prejudiced about sexuality as straight people. I have been surprised to find out that some of my gay friends are actually bisexual but because they socialise on the gay scene, they keep that aspect to their life quiet.

Back on the issue of penetration, there are lots of men who like their wives to don a strap-on. It doesn't make them gay, it just means they enjoy anal stimulation.