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Joie
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Post subject: Joie is not androgynous~ Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:48 am |
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Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 74 Gender:  Country:  Location: Okinawa, Japan
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Joie is a transgender girl, very feminine and pretty. She does not like to wear androgynous clothing. For her to wear nondescript styles (jeans or khaki pants with a plain t-shirt) makes her feel unattractive. Yet, that is just how the school asked we dress her. They don't want to see her in pink, with barrettes, or anything overtly feminine at all. As a stay at home mom, I do have the ability to home-school her; but that is not what she wants. She wants to go to school and socialize with the kids there... as a girl. They are so irritating. I figure if they want to ban pink, barrettes, skirts, etc for all girls, then that's one thing; but don't single out my daughter for this treatment. Any ideas, suggestions, thoughts, anything? If so, please share! Thanks!!
_________________ Joie and Venessia
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Joie
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Post subject: Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:50 am |
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Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 74 Gender:  Country:  Location: Okinawa, Japan
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P.S. The fancy dress in the picture is not something she wears to school. In fact, Joie wears typical girl styles to school.
_________________ Joie and Venessia
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Monica
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Post subject: Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:19 am |
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Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 187 Gender:  Country:
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Doesn't she like to dress up as other girls in school do?
_________________ Ciao ciao, Monica
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Joie
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Post subject: Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:24 am |
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Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 74 Gender:  Country:  Location: Okinawa, Japan
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Sorry for not being clear. When I get emotional about something, my mouth just opens and everything comes out in one big jumble.
Yes, she does like to dress up as the other school girls do! Very much so! She loves the skirts, barrettes, leggings, tights, glittery tops, the whole bit. If there was ever a natural-born beauty queen, she's it!
It's the school who wants her to be dressed down. They have requested that she only wear jeans and plain t-shirts, nothing too feminine. I don't know what to do. I've got to keep it focused... Joie comes first. At the same time, I need to learn what to expect from others, how to deal with imposed limits, that sort of stuff.
_________________ Joie and Venessia
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Monica
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Post subject: Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 2:57 am |
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Unfortunately your situation is not so obvious... I mean how to deal with all these things to make your child's life happy... But you care of your child and that is important. My parents just gave up...
_________________ Ciao ciao, Monica
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lovingsoul
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Post subject: Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 3:25 am |
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SAD when people have less understanding and tolenrancie towards "we special girl".. Hope they will allow your baby girl to dress-up as what she is and want.. She is a girl why should they asked her to dress-down.. some people really blind, unless they see what she has between her legs.. then thats different.. if she looks and bahaves like a girl, I think why to attract trouble by dress as a boy but behave like a girl... look more weird isnt it? just my opinion.. 
_________________ lovingsoul... bad experienced I take it as a good lessons, good times I saved it as good memories..
love, peace and happiness..
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Joie
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Post subject: Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 6:18 am |
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Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 74 Gender:  Country:  Location: Okinawa, Japan
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I don't know your parents Monica, so please forgive me if I'm being rude; I don't mean to hurt anyone. I'm just appalled that anyone could actually give up on their children!  So upsetting that there are people (and a lot of them!) who can simply turn their backs on their own children. I'm sorry that has happened to you. Whenever I feel inadequate, I'll reflect on other's situations to help guide me. You know lovingsoul, you put it very well: Quote: if she looks and bahaves like a girl, I think why to attract trouble by dress as a boy but behave like a girl... look more weird isnt it?
I hadn't thought of saying that to them during the meeting; I wish I had! Thank you so much for all of your continued insight. Really, you have no idea just how much I appreciate it!
_________________ Joie and Venessia
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oz3male
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Post subject: Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 5:25 am |
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Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 164 Gender:  Country:  Location: Melbourne
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Does the school have a uniform? If not, then why not just bend the rules ever so slightly in Joie's favour - dress her in jeans (girl-style) and t-shirt (girl's pink or soft yellow).
P
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Joie
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Post subject: Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:05 am |
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Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 74 Gender:  Country:  Location: Okinawa, Japan
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Actually P, they don't have a school uniform. There are some rules (no bare mid-riffs, no spaghetti strap tops, skirts can't be too short...), but Joie's wardrobe doesn't break any of them. So for the most part, we are doing what you suggest above. She did wear a denim skirt over pink leggings to her doctor appointment today. Her top was really cute, too. Her pediatrician complimented her on her sense of style.  Sadly, this doctor is moving to a new military base soon.
_________________ Joie and Venessia
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lovingsoul
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Post subject: Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:37 am |
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Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 498 Gender:  Country:
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Ohhh I like denim skirt or any skirt but I dont have nice legs to wear it.. 
_________________ lovingsoul... bad experienced I take it as a good lessons, good times I saved it as good memories..
love, peace and happiness..
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