So im coming out (in secret)

Hey guy's im a newly turned 26yo Australian male who wants to be identified as female.
I've been in terrible conflict with this for almost as long as i can remember.

To be honest when i was young around age 7-8 my gender was really not an issue for me at all.
But when i got older around age 10 i knew i wanted to be a girl. Then when i got to age 13 i knew i
was transgender. Being extremely poor and surrounded by people who were either downright homophobic or wanted nothing to do with any kind of gender contradiction. (flamboyant gays for example) Together with my attraction for women. Has i believe led me to repress my true self.

Now that I've just turned 26 the feeling of unease is unbearible and i read that HRT is only half as effective at my age. I have been having some slight panic attacks. I keep stupidly contemplating suicide for fear that I'll never be normal let alone good looking.

Added to this is the problem i suffer from social anxiety disorder and I've let my parents take the reigns of my life.

But i have decided now im going to tell a psychologist that i have this condition. And deal with what i need to do in secret for now and if people dont like it to hell with them! I just hope that i can get straight onto HRT without fiddling around. I know there's a procedure to go through to insure there are no terrible mistakes made but it takes about 6 months for HRT to cause irreversible damage right? Not that i honestly would care lol.

I'm pretty sure this is what i want. I just don't want the baggage that comes with it. Plus i have no idea if i can even be passable.

I'd like to ask some of you but i don't want to upload any photos publicly just yet. )actually i also don't know how to LMAO im terrible at html stuff )

So if anybody wants to be my friend. Please msg me so i can show my horrible ugly mug on msn.

So about my transition i have some questions to ask:

1) Is there anyway for me to get electrolysis relatively cheap? I need removal from just about everywhere. And how much can i expect it too cost?

2) Is there any satisfying hair removal techniques that i can use while undergoing a permanent removal procedure? (shaving is difficult for me)

3) What effects can i realistically expect from hormones and anti androgens?

4) How much will ffs a trachea shave and vocal surgery cost me respectively?

Thanks guys please message me! :3

I'm in a similar boat to you (25, just starting). Don't know if I can help too much but I'll give it a shot.

1) Not sure on the cost of electrolysis, but I'm pretty sure it varies widely. Some girls have suggested starting with laser and then finishing the stragglers with electrolysis? That would depend on your skin and hair colour though, so would have to be an individual decision.

2) You could try waxing or an epilator, but I'm pretty sure you need to have a bit of growth when you have your electrolysis appointments. You could try veet or nair on the body, but be careful, it gave me a horrible burn/rash for weeks afterwards (even after spot testing it).

3) The effects of hormones and anti androgens vary from person to person. Generally though, softer skin, thinner body hair (but not facial hair), reduced 'performance', some breast growth, some fat redistribution could be expected. They can also have some potential side effects like blood clots and liver problems so your doctor will want to do regular blood tests to see if there are any adjustments needed.

4) Couldn't help you on prices. Some go to Thailand, some stay in Aus, some go to NZ. Vocal surgery generally isn't recommended as the results are rarely satisfactory (and sometimes worse than when you started). A speech therapist might be able to help, or there are how-to guides on the internet that might help you with voice training.

Hope that helps?