What am I?

I'm A 31 year old male who has always been a little mixed in gender. I grew up liking both boys and girls things, although admittedly mostly boy things. But I've never been into sports or anything like that. I consider myself bisexual in that I've had sex with both guys And girls, though I've never dated a guy. I like to cross dress every so often because I like the way it makes me feel.

I've been like this all of my life but just within the last few years I've had a on and off desire to be more feminine. I don't hate my male body but I think that ultimately I would have been happier if I were born a female. I have great desire to have a females body, to have the hips and the butt, the soft skin and the overall shape. I want to be able to look great in females clothing.

I've heard a lot of people say that sine they were a child they felt like a girl trapped in a boys body. I've never felt that way, whiches what confuses me. I feel like I'm a mix of both genders. But the older I get the less I like being in a males body. I feel like I've already missed out on being a young attractive woman. At 31 I have a lot of anxiety over whether or not I should start taking hormones and transition. I don't want o go all the way with surgury, nor do I want to go and try to change my voice. But I want to be able to live as both genders depending on how I feel at the time and I feel like having a more feminine body would make me more acceptable and feel better about myself.

I guess my biggest question is, where do I fit in? As I said I don't feel like a female trapped in a mans body. I feel like both. Can I live a life of both genders? Can I transition with hormones and still dress and act the male part when I wish, like at work? But then be female in my personal life?

Natalie,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am 48 and had never been to a psychologist until this week. I was so thrilled with what I accomplished in one session that now I'm going to suggest to every poster to see a psychologist. Find one that deals with gender identity or gender dysphoria issues. Also if you live near a LGBT community, seek one in that area as they will have more experience with actual cases and not just a textbook. Wondering what you should be is a deep question with serious consequences and you need expertise in figuring it out. It's not like "how should I get my hair cut."

31...too old???? WTF? I bet you'll look freaking hot.

I'm 48. I told everyone I'm changing from a fat, old woman to a fat, old man. I'm still holding out that I will look like Tom Cruise, though.

Best of luck to you.

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When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. --John Muir

Hi, Natalie.

It was tough for me to decide to transition, because I thought I could be happy as a boy. At least, I wasn't particularly apprehensive about being a boy. And to boot, I came out in the middle of a serious relationship. We could've gotten hitched! But I knew inside—that's not what I wanted. Denying myself would never be fair for him, either. So I took a leap of faith. Yeah, it ended our relationship. But at least I got a very special friend out of the deal.

Ultimately, you know what's best for you. Just be honest with yourself. Pay no attention to what seems appropriate or how everyone else is doing it. This is your life! When it comes down to it, would you rather live the perfect life, whether as a man or a woman, or just live perfectly the way you want?

xx
D

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"Part of me is angry, part of me is proud—the rest of me is drunk!" Karen Walker

Agree with deanne !

Its like you popped into my head and read my entire life..... That is exactly how I am, Im 32 as well. I find it more frustrating as time goes on and I feel like I would rather just transition and have no regrets. So Im gonna start HRT and see how it goes.

i just agree with people here if you want to dress then start ht then go for it my mom in my case just said if it'll make you happy go for it.